Handling Gossip with Gracefulness

 

It is human nature to discuss other human beings with one another: to inquire about them, to be fascinated by them, to love or dislike them. Some of the world’s most successful print and web publications base their content on gossip. Sometimes it seems we’re surrounded by gossip and gossipers, and it is likely we’ve all found ourselves in situations where the topic of discussion left us feeling uncomfortable or even confused. I had a conversation about this subject with my Grandmother, and she remarked, “Age doesn’t stop it from happening. It’s just as much of an issue now as it was when I was young.”

Is gossip ever okay? The answer: NO, gossip is never okay, under any circumstances. There is a difference between genuine concern for what someone is going through, and flat-out gossip.

So, what’s the difference?

 

Tongue Etiquette

  1. When is discussing another person appropriate, and when is it gossip? Discussing an individual’s personal life isn’t ever really ‘appropriate’ – a person’s accomplishments, pursuits, and conquests aren’t typically private matters, though, and we wouldn’t have history books if we couldn’t talk about others. We want to know, to a certain extent, the background of our leaders and government officials. Celebrities put themselves at the mercy of the public domain. Gossip is often nothing more than assumption that leads to a rumor, but sometimes it does begin from first-handed contact with the individual and his or her behavior. If there isn’t a valid point in discussing a person, it is likely inappropriate, or gossip. Wikipedia uses the phrase ‘idle talk.’
  2. How do you handle someone who gossips? Easy. Dismiss the subject gracefully! All you have to do is simply say: “This is gossiping,” or “This is none of my business, could we please talk about something else?” Only you yourself can be held accountable for how you direct a conversation.
  3. What should you do if you find yourself the subject of gossip? It’s difficult when you find out that your personal affairs have been discussed without your knowledge. Gossip is most effectively handled by approaching the person or persons and simply asking them why they felt like it was okay to talk about you, and ask them not to do it. Don’t waste too much energy being upset or angry; life continues to move forward. Confronting the situation and moving forward from it is much healthier in the long run than keeping feelings bottled, or letting resentment build.
  4. What should you do if someone tells you something that raises concern about another person, or about himself/herself? This is the magical situation in where it is (sometimes) excusable to disclose a private matter. You might try seeking advice anonymously, or talk to someone who has proven to be trustworthy about how you might be able to help.

 

There isn’t a single person on this Earth that has lived a perfect life. Many of us go through struggles that are difficult to make sense of; death, divorce, major life changes, for example.  Before you discuss someone else with another person, consider how you’d feel if the tables were turned and you were in their shoes. Take caution in who you disclose personal information to. If someone is willing to talk to you about people you don’t even know, it is likely they’re talking about you, with people you don’t know. Of course, intention is everything. Consider why you want to talk about someone before doing so.

Have something to add? Please leave a comment below on your feelings about gossip.

 

 

google plus android apps - May 27, 2014 - 5:54 am

Thanks for a marvelous posting! I definitely enjoyed reading it, you are a
great author.I will be sure to bookmark your blog and
may come back someday. I want to encourage you to continue your
great work, have a nice holiday weekend!

Michelle (Aurora) - June 6, 2014 - 6:44 am

Thank you very much for reading! Looking forward to hearing more from you in the future!

alright - June 23, 2014 - 3:28 am

I seriously love your website.. Great colors & theme.
Did you make this site yourself? Please reply back as I’m attempting to create my own blog and would love to learn where you got this from or what the theme is named.
Thanks!

Michelle (Aurora) - June 23, 2014 - 10:49 am

Hi! Thank you very much. This is a ProPhoto.com template, you can customize the whole thing easily, and it runs through wordpress install, so very easy to keep things updated! And if you get bored, it’s easy to change things around.

Calvin - June 28, 2014 - 10:50 pm

Wow! A blog from where I can actually obtain useful facts and knowledge.

Eva - June 29, 2014 - 3:34 am

After looking at a few of the blog posts on your web site, I honestly appreciate your style
of blogging.

Sheryl - June 29, 2014 - 7:37 pm

Good article. I’m experiencing a few of these issues as well..

Here’s to Your Health in 2014!

Welcome back! Happy New Year, and I hope yours was safe, fun, and full of enlightenment.

Those of you who follow me on Instagram ( @escapetolight_ ) are aware of my passion for promoting wellness — both mental and physical — including simplification of meals and overall living habits, foraging excursions, homemade teas, holistic health, and of course some philosophical insights. I had no idea that soon, I would be combining my love for wellness with photography along my career path! Very different from my earlier conceptual work, and work with models. As promised, this year will bring a new variety of content to the blog, consistent with the evolution of my life’s direction and purpose.

It is important to trust who you are and what you’re passionate about.

I love what The Minimalists have to say in their article about Cultivating Your Passion as opposed to just following it. 

 

Recent Publications

Here are some selections from recently published photography work pertaining to wellness, along with links to the full articles.

What is the Healthiest Breakfast to Eat? Livestrong.com
Full Article + More Photos: http://www.livestrong.com/article/422628-what-is-the-healthiest-breakfast-to-eat/

Easy Raw Vegan Meal Plans | LiveStrong.com
Full Article + More Photos:
http://www.livestrong.com/article/363424-easy-raw-vegan-meal-plans/ 

Home Remedy With Honey for a Cough | eHow: Health
Full Article + More Photos:  
http://www.ehow.com/way_5268756_home-remedy-honey-cough.html

Home Remedy for Hoarseness | eHow: Mom
Full Article + More Photos:
http://www.ehow.com/way_5460528_home-remedy-hoarseness.html 


How to Make Cilantro Tea | LiveStrong.com > Food and Drink > Tea
Full Article + More Photos:
 http://www.livestrong.com/article/482709-how-to-make-cilantro-tea/

How to Use a Blender as a Juicer | LiveStrong.com > Healthy Eating
Full Article + More Photos:
http://www.livestrong.com/article/504511-how-to-use-a-blender-as-a-juicer/ 

____________________________________________

I’ll keep you guys updated with new publications as they come up, as well as posting exclusive articles here at EscapeToLight, where it’s all about staying where the light is <3

 

 

 

 

Roots

 

I was out foraging for raspberries earlier this year, when I came upon this tree (the one pictured above). Even from a distance I could see the difference in its size compared to the surrounding trees… and not only by its height; the branches were winding out and reaching up so wide it was like witnessing a forever-standing-embrace. When I went closer, I noticed that the roots were equally twisted, some growing out of the Earth. I thought about how many winters, springs, summers, and falls had this Great Tree witnessed!

Suddenly a flood of information came to me. This system of roots, trunk, branches, and leaves has been functioning together perfectly for maybe more than 100 years. Nestled in a wooded lake area, it has likely provided shade for thousands of fishermen, given a place of rest to birds and other little forest-beings.

Watering Your “Roots”

Without a strong sense of acceptance within yourself, it is easy to feel a lot of imbalance when things grow forth from your roots. Sometimes, we plunge our roots into soil that isn’t healthy. We water it, and water it again, yet nothing seems to grow. I read recently over at Expanded Consciousness that dealing with the moment we’re in presently is the only way to get to the next present moment safely and effectively (you can read that post here: “9 Mind Bending Epiphanies That Turned My World Upside Down”). By sewing the seeds of now, we can grow the roots that will lead to a sturdy trunk, from which the branches of every choice we make will extend… some longer and stronger than others. While some of our branches may break along the way, the roots will continue to dig deeper, working with the soil and water deep beneath the surface.

So envision yourself as the tree, the sun and air as the environment that you perceive and take in, and the roots are your conscious awareness (thoughts). Everything is influenced by those thoughts (the roots of your tree), so when they’re healthy and motivated by considering the ‘bigger picture’ — your roots will be healthy, your branches will grow more artfully, more gracefully, and more lush. And don’t forget, the more lush your branches become, the better it is for the health of your environment!

I thought this quote was fitting to close the post:-)

“Progress is rarely straight-forwardly linear.” – Alasdair MacIntyre

 

Other Recommended Readings to compliment this post: 

 

Kant on Emotion

MacIntyre on Virtue

STAYING GROUNDED

 

Stability, intention, and purpose are intertwined. Their relationship is like that of soil, water, and sky, always working together to replenish the other through the cycle of precipitation and evaporation. It wasn’t until I had walked for two hours across sandy hills that this made sense, when I recognized that a simple adjustment in my footing made the journey through the dunes much less strenuous. To experience the joy and beauty of the dunes, I had to place my feet a certain way in order to secure them so I didn’t tire out. Just like *that* I was more able to get where I wanted to go!

While nature is perfect in its purpose, we must condition ourselves through awareness and practice to develop strategies that will work with us instead of against us in our pursuits. Whether it is business, love, a friendship, or a personal struggle you are going through, making even the most minor adjustment can reveal a more fruitful outcome.

Have a wonderful week!

 

 

Alee Svensson - September 29, 2013 - 8:49 pm

So eloquently written. The way you see things and apply them to your life is amazing, you’re amazing. I love, love reading your blog. To this day I feel blessed to have found such a talented person via social network to look up to. :)

Dino Celestino - September 30, 2013 - 7:31 am

Pretty much what Ms. Svensson said, above!

I saw your post on instagram of the same image in this blog. Cool coincidence, I posted a similar image as the cover photo to my fb photo page last night. I’m curious where the dunes in your picture are located? Beautiful scene. Beautiful capture.

Michelle Black - October 2, 2013 - 2:34 pm

Thank you so much. I’m happy you enjoyed the post Alee : )

Michelle Black - October 2, 2013 - 2:34 pm

Thank you and this is Silver Lake, MI!

Life on Mars.

Welcome to my imagination.

 

 

Affirmations for 2013

This morning your sky was a pastel parade, Earth.

(We danced.)

Beyond what we can see here, our Universe is breathing it’s breath right into the very room that warms you now.

Beyond your doors and windows are millions of other doors and windows leading into someone else’s home,  their sanctuary.

(What tears may be falling behind that door, or joys endearing?)

Our neighbors, friends, and people we completely disagree with,

They’re just overcoming heartaches

They only want to be loved

They’re seeking safety and security

They’re self-forgiving

Their thoughts embrace the memories of someone dear.

We Are Doing the Best We Can.

Your mouths that speak ill of another — would you say it to that very person the same?

What does integrity mean to you in this moment?

 

 

Affirmations to Embrace in 2013:

I am accountable for my actions, and I am able to forgive myself, now, for any actions I’ve made that weren’t consistent with my values.
I am understanding of others and am able to let go of any words, actions, or situations that I have allowed to cause conflict in my life.
I accept that I am in control of the conflicts that come into my life and have the option to choose peace over pain.
I choose to be aware of the energy that surrounds me, and how my own energy affects others.
I am able to commit to the things that will strengthen my well-being, above all else.
I am grateful to know that my well-being can influence the well-being of others.
I am grateful for others who have influenced my well-being.
I acknowledge that others are on sacred paths of their own and respect wherever it is that they are in their journey.
I view my own path as sacred and choose to fill my existence with purity to the best of my ability.
I honor my body, mind, and soul (and recognize that they work together).
I acknowledge my existence as being part of a continuum, a piece of eternity, an energy that will continue to evolve within our Infinite Universe.
I choose to be accepting, loving, kind, and generous.
I understand that what exists in my mind will manifest in my actions; thus, I choose to cultivate peace and harmony in my thoughts.

 

 

 

© Michelle Black 2013

 

 

Sunday Morning.

 

In full force working from the heart. In 2013 I will offer exclusively documentary/lifestyle and emotive portrait sessions (non-traditional: fine-art studies, conceptual, experimental) for children and families. I’ve been very focused on storytelling and practicing this skill over the past couple of years, building up to this permanent change, and I’m so incredibly grateful to the art of mobile photography for reawakening that in me. Remember, these sessions are also available free of charge for families or children in need. Visit [ this link ] to see recently updated information regarding charity sessions. Have a great evening <3

 

xo

Michelle

May the Rain Fall in Torrents

 

 

Air is cold, love is near

And conversation awaits.

What fate is sealed, what is left to contemplate?

(All things. Shan’t we draw out our minds onto paper?)

 

Neither experts nor amateurs exist;

There are no definitions. There is no sacrifice.

Even giving and taking carves out stone sculptures where we once stood breathing.

 

What is all too misunderstood

Is that simple four letter word (love)

The one that strips you bare and leaves you completely exposed, hands tied, eyes glistening and wide.

Love can synchronize hearts, it can rip hearts apart.

 

Still, we insist upon dissecting ourselves and ponder that perfecting situations will help;

In vain.

 

For bigger than ourselves, and even bigger than love

Is the wide and infinite Universe embracing us

Sustaining us.

 

Oh, Entertainment and Lust, your waters only drip;

May the rain fall in torrents like scenes from movies wherever there is trust.

 

There is much to believe in.

Though we have walked along the shore, the ocean speaks and the galaxies await.

 

© Michelle Black Dec 2012

 

 

 

 

Transformation of Consciousness | Shift of Ages: What I was doing during “The Apocalypse”

 

 

This is one of those moments where I’m thankful that my mother chose “Dawn” for my middle name, a word that means “a beginning”……

Many believe that today marks the end of the world, but many others believe that 2012 is the year of change and transformation, when our old ways of thinking cease to exist and we take on a better perspective,  joining forces with all that is,  a new beginning. (try a google search for “galactic alignment“).

I spent “The Apocalypse” prancing around in the snow, engaged in a quiet meditation that centered on gratitude. I plan to spend the rest of it listening to Dead can Dance and making Christmas cards:)

 

 

 

Quieting Down: A Simplified Lifestyle

Knowing When to Quiet Things Down

Summer / Fall of 2011 was literally the busiest time of my entire life. Juggling a studio/business, teaching three online courses, selling products from a second business website, and struggling to keep up with all of life’s regular responsibilities, I found myself overwhelmed (and not handling it gracefully, to say the least). I remember Megan Miller of Picture This Photography walking into the studio one summer morning and I had been there working all night without much sleep for the third night that week. “Oh my God, you look terrible,” she said. And I did. My son was sleeping on the studio couch. We brought his video games and bicycle so he could ride around for entertainment while I worked.  Since when did something that I love so much (my business) become such a distraction in my life? And not only that… I realized my values were shifting as a result. The large townhouse I was living in took so much time to clean, the photography studio needed to be tended to, and let’s not mention keeping up with all the paperwork and organization of bills. Thanks to Megan and her husband Adam for making that part easier on me:)

I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s been in this predicament.. where life’s responsibilities weigh so heavily that you’re not sure how to find comfort or balance. The key is realizing that something needs to be done, and then doing something about it.

 

Simplifying Your Life

Since that time I’ve had some heartfelt discussions with Nate Embrey over at TheShotShot, the incredible Tina Dolin ( who has been an incredible asset to my journey ), Amy Parrish of Atelier,  Taisha Holland at Cloud 9 hair design. Josh Branstetter ( jabberpics.com ), the spectacular Kina Williams ( who has become quite the spiritual mentor ) — my sister and grandparents, and some wonderful friends. Yes this is a thanks to you all before continuing <3

I’ve been wanting to write about this for quite sometime but it wasn’t until a trip to the mountains a couple of weeks ago that all of the manifestations of “letting go” seemed to become very clear to me. (I’ll be posting a video blog about that soon.)

Although it isn’t an easy thing to do but here are some basic steps: 

1) Determine what is absolutely necessary, and what is important to you. Once you do that, it’s time to start “cleaning house” so to speak. It just so happened that a move was in the cards for me, so it helped me rid my life of a lot of material things and focus on what was sentimental. One thing I knew I wanted to do was move into a smaller living space for awhile (if not permanently). It’s taken some time to adjust to the smaller space, but again, after my visit to the mountains and returning home, it feels more like home here than ever now. You have to be happy where you are and appreciate it for what it is — if you can’t do that then ask yourself what needs to change, and change it! You can do it:)

2) Accept that this is a gradual process. You aren’t going to just get rid of all the mind clutter and the stress, you’re going to have to make a plan of action and stick with it. For example.. I decided I didn’t want a car payment anymore, so now I’m driving my sister’s first car that’s paid off. That was my “step one.” When you can act on things with a step by step approach, you’ll be more likely to follow through.

3) Accept that you might cry a lot. (haha). This is emotional. But again — you can do this.

4) Determine what will make your life and well-being a healthy place to exist. For me, that meant cutting out alcohol, staying away from situations that distracted from my personal and spiritual growth. I realized that more than anything else I wanted to be a good parent, a good friend, a helpful person, to be truer to my motivations and aspirations as a businessperson (or do something else and preserve my love for photography) …… and ultimately to evolve spiritually and manifest a sense of composure in all that I do (instead of chaos). It didn’t start out as chaos, but if you’re unprepared it sure can get that way in a hurry.

5) Accept your faults and forgive yourself. More tears probably. But that’s okay… let’s just call that “adult growing pains“.

6) Changing your values really does change your behavior. I promise that lying beneath all of that doubt, confusion, and worry, there’s a pretty amazing individual under there.

7) Be willing to be alone. People are going to “go away” so to speak. You’re on a journey. But rather than looking at it as “losing people” look at it as staying true to your path. There are billions of human beings and when you follow your bliss, you’ll run into others who are following theirs. It’s incredible! You’ll also realize that there are people right under your nose that have been there with you all along. People come and go, and that’s okay. If you have to stay away from things that distract from your path for a little while until you’re more secure in the transition, that’s okay too. I find that even the simplest social gatherings aren’t good for me sometimes. Knowing your own boundaries is essential to the development of self-discipline, and surprisingly it is through discipline that one can find a true sense of freedom.

8) Be aware of the energy all around you, and of the energy that you transmit. That always sounds so vague. But I believe that we all have a sixth sense and we all know when our environment doesn’t exactly match our “flow” of energy. The important thing to understand is – it’s you, not them. Not that there’s anything wrong with you, but it’s up to you to decide what to do with the energy around you in varying situations.

9) Practice kindness and respect towards all beings. 

10) Remember that your happiness depends on your perspective! 

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”
― Howard Thurman

 

That’s all for now.. I’m hoping this was worth something to you all. Until next time.. I leave you with a mobile photo of the place I was when the “light went on” in my head… at Mt. Pisgah in the Blue Ridge Mountains.

Have a beautiful weekend and a lovely holiday everyone. Thanks for taking the time to read!

 

 

xo,

EscapeToLight

Trixie - October 7, 2013 - 11:25 pm

:-)